I thought I looked handsome today, so I asked myself out for tea. I obliged. I drove myself to the cafe and then offered to pay. "No, I insist," I insisted. I offered to carry my bag and to read myself a book. I was being QUITE the gentleman and felt like I must've been earning some serious points. I took me out to the outdoor seating by the lake, a romantic spot with lots of ducks floating by. I had a bag of trail mix and offered it to myself, even offering to do all the chewing. My mirrored sunglasses were on the table and, in them, I could see the way I was looking at me. Some kind of examination was happening but I couldn't tell what kind. Was I planning to make a move? Was I judging? Was there food between my teeth? Was it merely the long stare of a man feeling exhausted from the heat? Those big blue eyes were burning holes through me. After about twenty wordless minutes, I went inside to the bathroom and sent a text to me - "what are we?" I stood by the sink awaiting my response.
It was just seconds later that me responded in the most perfect way imaginable - repeating the same question. "What are we?" The question was the answer! The question was the answer!
He took me out to a big field to sit under a tree and watch a waterfall, but when I turned away to take a picture of it, I could see that me was telling our story on Facebook. I found that off-putting. I gave myself a disappointed look and walked away. Me protested for a while before eventually saying, "you'll be back. Me ALWAYS comes back to I."
I bought a cup of tea today.